Our kids are sharing a room with each other for the first time, and this morning Eleanor woke early and disturbed Samuel. Coleman got up with her and took her downstairs, but a few minutes later I heard their bedroom door open slowly. I called Samuel’s name, and a sleepy “Yes, Mama?” answered. I invited him to come climb into bed with me, which he did, and we cuddled in the dark. He asked to nurse, and I reminded him gently that we can’t nurse anymore.
The last three weeks have been filled with doctor’s appointments, trips to the lab and test after test after test as we and our medical team try to understand what we are dealing with.
There are a number of tests used to build a picture of this kind of cancer, and that’s really what I’ve learned they do – together, they are pieces of a puzzle. Each one in isolation tells us something, but on its own is usually not very useful for understanding the whole thing. This is sometimes frustrating – I want answers! Now! What is going on inside my body? What do we do about it? It is hard to be patient. It has become important to me to remember that each result we get, whether ‘good’ news or ‘bad’ news is really just one piece, best understood in the context of the whole, which we are slowly but steadily forming. Continue reading “Questions, Answers and More Tests”