Sitting in the hard

There are days when this is really hard.

Pretty much everyday there is at least one moment when this is really hard.

Cancer sucks. Incurable, chronic, stage IV, ultimately terminal cancer…it’s hardly fathomable sometimes, so hard to wrap our heads around. It steals my energy and my strength, my independence and my abilities. It’s an ugly, awful hard. Continue reading “Sitting in the hard”

Liver MRI Results

As Anne mentioned in the last post, we were waiting for one final test result before moving forward with treatment: an MRI to look more closely at a possible liver lesion that had showed up on one of the previous scans. We get results from the MRI yesterday, and it’s good news: there is no evidence of any lesions in Anne’s liver! The MRI was normal, with no signs of advanced cancer, or anything of concern or note anywhere. (It is not especially sensitive and would only pick up large tumours.)

As Anne mentioned in the last post, given the extent of the primary tumor and the fact that it has metastasized, we have to assume that there are still tiny micro-metastases in her body, and for the rest of her life we’ll have to try to stay ahead of them and deal with them as they grow and show up on scans. But it is very good news that there are no visible tumors in the liver!

Our plans are the same as Anne mentioned in the last post: we’ll meet with our surgeon on June 30th, and we expect that at that time we’ll set up a date for a right hemicolectomy, probably for mid-July. Because there does not seem to be any disease in the liver, there’s a possibility that this surgery will significantly improve prognosis, since it could dramatically slow the cancer’s movement toward major organs.

Thanks to everyone for the help and support and prayers – this is a long, slow road, and we are only able to walk it because of the Lord’s help and the unflagging love you’ve shown us.

Just Show Up

I’ve just finished reading Just Show Up, by Kara Tippetts and Jill Lynn Buteyn. It’s a book, a beautiful book written by two friends: one dying of cancer, the other who showed up – to love her, to support her, to walk with her, to dance with her, to live with her. It’s their story, and it’s the story of their community. It’s also my story, a story I’m living.

I write for New Christian Woman, and my latest post for them will be published in a few weeks. It’s about community. This book is about community. I’m living in and experiencing incredible, blessed, grace-filled community. A community that has shown up. Continue reading “Just Show Up”

On the shock and the blessings

 

I have cancer.

Just writing those words…

It seems crazy. Silly. Fake and unreal. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times I’ve said them in the last ten days…

To nurses, and hospital technicians. To close friends. To my parents. To members of the church and school community here. To friends on the other side of the world. To my hairdresser. To strangers. To my children.

It feels like they belong to someone else.

But they belong to me now. I have cancer. Continue reading “On the shock and the blessings”

Friendship

I’m at the hospital this morning, waiting for another test, and I’m reviewing the literally hundreds of responses we have received to our news in the last 24 hours. It’s overwhelming, in the best way. It is so good to have the support and love of so many people around the world, to see and feel our village rally around us.
As we face moving again, and going to a new (for me) place, I am encouraged by these reflections on friendship from my nearest and dearest friend: Continue reading “Friendship”